I just heard about something new and I'm checking it out now...

Cleaned my room (by force) and I have to say it is kind of refreshing. I literally go crazy in this room, my insane musings will haunt the next renter of this apartment, or at least the next occupant of this room. Sickly, morbid thoughts like that somehow comfort me. A man, lying on a mattress, covered in a single blanket, TV on and casting light against his face, stricken in horror as I ramble on, an apparition in the corner, about dark twisted landscapes with no escape.. no turning back to the rosy-cheeked childhood, that remnant of the past, in even the deepest of memories. Unconditional happiness remembered, a slash of painful remorse.This man is silent because he cannot speak, and he cannot speak because this too, was a dream of his own.

Where was I? Spring cleaning. Thank god I got a distraction, I will be awake at some point tonight. Mother's Day. Fuck. I don't want to think about that. Which is why I am actually glad I got some cleaning done. Distraction is useful on days such as these. I cleaned, and put on some music, and drew with some Prismacolor pencils. It was a good day. Barbecue scents and cheerful people laughing at restaurants and a golden sunset in a city. Those small things are a portal to that unconditional happiness, something I crave and devour without question or thought. Today was a good day.

But I don't look forward to trying to sleep tonight. It's mother's day and I have too much on my mind.